This is a really hard day for me. There's nothing I can really put my finger on...just a bad day. I've tried to keep myself busy while hubby is working. I've vacuumed, scrubbed, polished moved furniture to vacuum under even scrubbed the kitchen floor with Murphy's wood soap. Why...? I'm not sure. Something I think is fairly minor...which I won't go into...happened yesterday and it ended up ok, but now it's just like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have to remind myself that I must be "on guard" at all times. Just when I start to think better of a person, I'm reminded over and over again that there is a horrible sin involved here. I must continue to pray for EVERYONE who is affected by it.
There are some other things I should be doing. I should be going through photos that need to be sorted and organized. I just can't bring myself to do that. It's still too hurtful. Our entire family made 2 wonderful trips to Canada right around this time. We have wonderful photos of the trips. I used to love looking at the albums I made of those trips. I spent many hours putting them together and now I can't even open them.
My heart is heavy and I have a lump in my throat that doesn't seem to want to go away. I want to smile and be happy, but I can't let my guard down. I know this makes no sense, but it makes ME feel better just writing it.
For now I lean on Psalm 9:9-10
The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
Those who know Your name will trust in You, for You, Lord have never forsaken those
who seek You.
Monday, September 8, 2008
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