"Hugs needed here"

I don't know what to call this post. Maybe something will "hit" me as I write. This is a hard week for me. Tomorrow is the day that Steve and Tracy meet in court again. I don't know what to expect. How long do these court appearances go on? Is there ever finality? I don't know...we've never been through this before. I have this lump in my throat today...it just doesn't want to go away. I have to keep telling myself over and over again the our Lord is Sovereign. I know it and I truly believe it...so why isn't it comforting? I feel such a sense of loss. I hate Tracy's sin, but I know our family misses her. She was a part of our lives for 12 years, so maybe this sense of loss is natural. I just want it to be over. I'm missing my California family a lot today. I could sure use a hug from all my grandkids today. Maybe that's the title of this post..."Hugs are needed".

Incredible Words!

I have come across 2 wonderful songs by Michael W Smith. I'm not sure who wrote the words (probably him) but I thought they were incredible and they are the cry of my heart.

Purified

Where the angels see,
You are praised as you should be.
But how can I express
My yearning for your holiness?
May it be that I will open up my heart,
Search me in the deepest part,
And I will stand in cleansing fire by you, purified.
By you I'm purified.

Savior of my soul,
To your strength I yield control.
Purge me from my stain,
Sin will loose it's mortal reign,
Make me free. And I will open up my heart,
Search me in the deepest part,
And I will stand in cleansing fire
By you purified. By you I'm purified.

You are Holy, You are Holy Lord.


Raging Sea

Sometimes the journey makes you weary,
Just like the long and winding road.
Sometimes this life can lose it's meaning,
But you might be surprised to find some hope.

Maybe you're wondering where love is,
You may feel it's far away from here.
Maybe you're wondering where I am,
You might be surprised to find I'm near.

And when your life is tossed and turning,
And you are on the raging sea.
I'll come and pull you from the water.
Then you will know that you are free.

So, if you're stumbling through the valley,
And if you're tempted to give up the fight.
Reach out your hand and I will lead you
I will be your strong arm in the night.

And when your life is tossed and turning,
And you are on the raging sea.
I'll come and pull you from the water.
And you will know that you are free.

A Quick Update

For any who are keepting track on this little blog...Tracy said she had a brain "malfunction" and forgot about the scheduled meeting with the kids' attorney on Monday. It seems like something that important would have been on her mind constantly. Even those of us in Ohio knew it was supposed to be Monday. I guess we remember things that are important to us. The meeting has been re-scheduled for today. I'm praying that #1...Tracy will remember this time and not put the kids through this again, and #2...that the kids will be able to say what is on their hearts. Thanks again for any who are praying.

An Interesting Turn of Events

Well...yesterday was to be Elizabeth and Jacob's first day to meet with their own "attorney". Tracy was to take them and then meet with the attorney afterward. The meeting was to be at 5:00 in Bakersfield. The kids waited and waited and waited for their mom to pick them up. Steve called the attorney to let her know that it was nearly 5:00 and still, no Tracy. It would take at least an hour for them to get to Bakersfield, so the attorney thanked Steve for the call and said she would leave...it was to be her last appointment of the day. Meanwhile, Steve changed his plans for the evening; made a call to Tracy to let her know she'd missed the appointment; then took the kids with him to a friend's house to watch the Detroit Redwings get beat by the Pittsburg Penguins in a "triple overtime"!

I'm not sure how or why the appointment wasn't kept. I'd think that something as important as this would have been written on every available calendar.

Innocent Parties

Sometimes I forget that we are not the only ones affected by what's happened with Steve and Tracy. Peter, who has moved in with Tracy is also married and has a sweet daughter. I must remember to pray for them and all the heartache that they are going through.

Something cheery

It seems like this little blog is a bit of a downer, so I feel the need to post some cheery pictures. There's nothing new since yesterday...just some pix.

Not much to update till June 18

It's been a couple of weeks since I've updated this little blog. I've been putting it off because there isn't much I can write about right now.

Elizabeth and Jacob are both scheduled to meet with their "attorney";once with Tracy, once with Steve and I think once on their own. This will all happen the first part of June. I'm glad it's after school is out. We talk to them nearly every day and they sound like they are doing ok. Tracy told the kids a week or so ago that she wished mommy and daddy could just split them 50/50. Elizabeth responded "but mommy...daddy wants us ALL the time". How would a mother respond to that? Her attitude seems to be "they'll be ok". It reminds me of how Tracy used to tell me about her childhood and how hard it was being shuffled back and forth from parent to parent. She was young when her parents divorced...has she forgotten the damage it did to her?

My heart breaks for the children and the situation Tracy has put them in. They hate being around Tracy's boyfriend, but she continues to push him on them. I'd think she would treasure the time she could spend alone with them. Sin...what a horrible thing!