Innocent Parties

Sometimes I forget that we are not the only ones affected by what's happened with Steve and Tracy. Peter, who has moved in with Tracy is also married and has a sweet daughter. I must remember to pray for them and all the heartache that they are going through.

Something cheery

It seems like this little blog is a bit of a downer, so I feel the need to post some cheery pictures. There's nothing new since yesterday...just some pix.

Not much to update till June 18

It's been a couple of weeks since I've updated this little blog. I've been putting it off because there isn't much I can write about right now.

Elizabeth and Jacob are both scheduled to meet with their "attorney";once with Tracy, once with Steve and I think once on their own. This will all happen the first part of June. I'm glad it's after school is out. We talk to them nearly every day and they sound like they are doing ok. Tracy told the kids a week or so ago that she wished mommy and daddy could just split them 50/50. Elizabeth responded "but mommy...daddy wants us ALL the time". How would a mother respond to that? Her attitude seems to be "they'll be ok". It reminds me of how Tracy used to tell me about her childhood and how hard it was being shuffled back and forth from parent to parent. She was young when her parents divorced...has she forgotten the damage it did to her?

My heart breaks for the children and the situation Tracy has put them in. They hate being around Tracy's boyfriend, but she continues to push him on them. I'd think she would treasure the time she could spend alone with them. Sin...what a horrible thing!

Four days to go

Rick will be home in four days. It seems like he's been gone for months. Bootu and I have had lots of time to bond, but I know he misses his companion. Rick takes him for such nice long walks...mine are much shorter. I give him just a little more food hoping it will make up for the shorter walks. He will be almost as happy as I am when I pick Rick up at the airport.

I talked to "California" several times yesterday. Everyone seems to be doing ok. Things are pretty much status quo. It seems like Tracy is so caught up in all this that she's just clueless. How has this girl that I loved so much slipped so far away into her sin? I pray God will work on her heart. Sometimes I wonder...could I have done anything different...If I had been a better mother-in-law...If I had seen any warning signs...If we hadn't moved back to Ohio...the what ifs just go on forever, I suppose. But I have to keep reminding myself of the one lesson I'm learning through all of this."GOD IS SOVEREIGN"! Does that mean that God knows what the outcome of all this is going to be, but He isn't necessarily concerned about the day-to-day happenings that we're all going through. I know He loves us. I know He won't give us more than we can endure. (I can endure so much more than I ever thought I could, and I'm so tired.) Maybe if I wasn't getting stronger this would be over with sooner. I'm just so tired of being sad and I'm ever so tired of crying. I think when I'm done with this post, it is definitely time get my Bible out. The Psalmist and I have become very good friends over the last 6 months. I feel a little better just thinking about spending time in the Word.

I just looked at the title of this little blog "Rantings of a Forgiven One". I really HAVE been ranting and I truly AM a Forgiven One. Enough said...at least for today!

Alone but not lonely

I can't think of a name for this post...at least not yet. Maybe I will as I write. I've discovered today that I'm not much of a loner. My dog and I are home alone, he's not much of a conversationalist. I keep looking at the clock and then figuring the time difference between here and California. California seems like it's a world away just as Ohio did when I was in California. When I was in California, I always had people around me, friends and family; but I was still kind of lonely. Now I'm REALLY alone and I hate it. There are times when I'm busy with day to day life and I think "boy, I'd love to have just a couple of days to myself to do anything I want; or not do anything at all". Well, I've had two of those days, and I don't like them so much. I'm really missing my best friend. Rick works at home so he is usually busy for most of the day, but I know he's here. After 43 years of marriage, it still thrills me when he pops his head in and says "want a cup of coffee?" or "How would you like to go to Cracker Barrel tonight"? Sometimes he even says "what are we having for dinner tonight?" (that's not quite as thrilling) The point is...I really miss him. I went to church last evening without him and felt like just half a person. While I was writing this, the phone rang and guess who it was? Right...it was Rick. We talked for a long time about what is coming up tomorrow.
People ask if we're scared about tomorrow. The answer is "no" we are not scared or fearful, but we are apprehensive because this is uncharted territory for all of us. I told Elizabeth and Jacob that many people are praying for them. They have their clothes all laid out for court (isn't that just too sad). We said our usual good-nights. I always tell Jacob "I love you to the moon and back" and he always says the same thing back to me. Tonight he said "No Nana, I love you to the GALAXY and back...that's a lot further." It was good to talk to everyone.

So, now I have a title for this post.

One Step Further

Well, this morning Rick and my Dad took off for California. After Friday's hearing which was thrown out, they felt like they wanted to be there to support Steve, the kids and the rest of the family who have been there right along. (Todd, Julie and their kids) Steve's friend, Frank has been there as well. In fact, Frank just sent me a picture of Jacob taken with his IPhone. It shows Jacob asleep, leaning on Todd's shoulder. I guess he was not too concerned with what was going on.
After the judge threw that case out (which is becoming a habit), Steve spent a good hour and a half with his attorney. I can't go into details, since this should all be over one way or another this Tuesday. I can only say that we are constantly amazed at how the Lord is watching over us all. I don't know the reason for all this, but some day maybe we'll look back on it and be able to say "Oh...this is what the Lord was trying to teach us". I want to have a soft heart; one that the Lord is able to mold. My prayer has always been for the Lord to do whatever He has to to make me more like Him. I'm not sure I always thought about what this could mean. Steven and I were talking about this subject the other night. He said he doesn't know what the Lord is trying to teach him either, but he knows that 6 months ago, he would not have been able to go through this. He feels like he is a much stronger person now. As I look back on the last 6 months (has it only been 6 months...it seems like 6 years) I know that I am much closer to the Lord as well. I do want to remain faithful through all this. I don't want to have horrible feelings toward Tracy.
I want to see her come back to the Lord. She is after all, the mother of 2 of my grandchildren. If she doesn't repent, she will be sorry for all eternity.